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Parenting And Coaching Are The Same

Jan 12, 2023

Parents are Coaches

I have had parents tell me…

“I’ve told him the exact same thing, but he won’t listen!”

“Well…how did you say it?” 


I, like most humans, don’t like being micro-managed all the time.

I change the way I think about certain things when I feel like I’m the one who figured it out, not when someone else tells me I need to change.

Coaching is the exact same way. 

It’s about planting seeds, and being patient. 

I’ll give you an example. When I was growing up my dad was always on me about writing things down.

It got to a point where I vividly remember that he might be right, but I wasn’t going to write anything down, because he kept telling me. (Love ya Dad). 

Several years go by and I’m now in college. Still not writing anything down.

Here comes the missing assignments, showing up late to practice, and not being organized at all!

I realized I need to start writing things down. 

‘I realized it’ 

That’s why ‘I’ have been doing it since. 

Coaching is the same way. 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had players not be bought into what changes I was trying to get them to make. 

When this happens I rely on a few options. 

1. Social Proof 
2. Data
3. Video 
4. Time
5. Patience 

 1. Social Proof 
Last season I had a player who hated pushing himself in practice.

So after I developed a relationship with this player, he told me who his favorite player was. 

I found a quote from this particular player that talked about pushing yourself in practice so the game is easier.

I took a TV and put it in a place where all of the players would see it when they walked it. 

This way the player didn’t think it was just for him to see.

I saw him looking at the TV throughout the day.

He got the message and was better after that. 

That’s one example, but you can use various other ways including social media, interviews, etc.

 2. Data 
This is where data is the most useful.

A player believes they should be focusing on XYZ, but when you show them the data of the best players in the world, they don’t do XYZ.

Thanks, Data.

Objective feedback doesn’t have feelings. 

 3. Video 
Humans learn best through images.

Having issues with timing?

 Not wanting to make a swing change?

Let’s compare your video with the best and see what sticks out? 

 4. “Love is spelled T.I.M.E.” - Sean Mcvay 
If you want a player to make a change, show them you’re all in and want it just as bad as they do. 

This could mean late night texts, talking in the cage about nothing for an hour, etc.

 I think you get the point. 

 5. Patience 
Sometimes players just need time for everything to sink in. 

Keep planting seeds that might spark their curiosity 

How you present these are important too. 

For example…

“What do you think of this video?” 


“You see what Aaron Judge does, this is what you need to do”

Neither one of these is necessarily right or wrong. It comes down to who speaking with.

How direct I am with a player or players depends on the age, personality, and environment. 

Coaching and communicating is an art form. 

You can’t quantify the most important things in coaching, and that’s why I love it. 

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